Comments on: Can A Straight Woman And A Lesbian Woman Be Friends?

By: Trinidad Boxer

Trinidad Boxer — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 21:42:03 +0000

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By: Gaysi: The Gay Desi » A Moral Dilemma: Being Politically Correct & Not Being A Tease

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 11:15:57 +0000

[...] actually is the first time I’m making an online connection with a lesbian girl. I thought back to my friend MJ. I didn’t know she was a lesbian when we first met and neither of us actively pursued the [...]

By: IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith — Sun, 18 Jan 2009 10:16:21 +0000

@ Been there…: Thank you for sharing that. It makes my post much richer, hearing the other side of it.

By: Been there...

Been there... — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 20:11:47 +0000

Well,
Let me get put my comment like a ‘Post Secret’ postcard !
I am a straight gal, I guess…though, me and my best friend we have made out ! Yeah, done everything. We both used to long for each other in more ways than emotional. It was nice, meeting every day and no one even getting a hint of what you doing inside the closed room! But down the years, we have been apart. We still maintain that we love each other and all, but she is over the ‘physical’ factor whereas I do miss her and the relationship we shared. It burns my heart to not be with her and I miss her and fantasize about her. The funny thing is, we can’t tell about this to anyone. And these feelings that we have, is just for each other, she likes guys, will marry someone soon and I like guys too…but when it comes to her, my heart just melts away.
When I read the title, it somehow attracted me, somewhere I could relate to it. So all I can say is, if this happens, it would be like the lesbian partner is compromising on her feelings a lot but she would still do it, cos it means being with her !!!!!!!

By: ideasmith

ideasmith — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 11:12:12 +0000

@ Banno, Monsoon, Maya, Italiana, Tina: Here’s to the freedom of our choices!

@ Amey: The question is should we? And how do we distinguish?

@ 2lesbosgoinatit: Not too different from lesbians I imagine.

@ Jessie: I’m sorry to hear that. The heartbreak of not having your affection reciprocated is universal but you have the additional burden of unfair biases. Not every woman is open to the idea of homosexuality and I guess it would freak some women out to be the object of another woman’s attentions. Take heart though, most of the women I spoke to (and look at the comments here as well) did not sound biased.

@ Nova: Perhaps you already are in the situation and don’t know it. My advice if I may offer it is to not make too much of a big deal of it. Friendship should ideally be far above attraction which is fleeting. And I’d say you owe it to your friend to be understanding of her feelings and supportive of her choices.

@ Tina, Jessie: I really want to thank you for your comments. As a straight woman I can only guess at some of your thoughts but it looks like we really aren’t that different except for our respective individualities.

By: Tina

Tina — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 15:11:56 +0000

I’m a lesbian who has a straight woman friend! We hugged each other when we meet and leave, we even hold hands (which is acceptable in our culture) in public. My answer is yes, a straight woman can be friends with lesbian. We chit chats like any other females do! My girlfriend had not met this friend of mine since she work odd hours but she also hugs her straight friends and all it matters is the feeling of the two of you!

By: Italiana

Italiana — Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:52:48 +0000

This complicated issue is being discussed more and more, and I’m glad. I’m 48 and have had this conundrum occur countless times over the past 30 years. The crux of the problem is that, yes, sexuality does occur on a continuum. Society makes one choose straight or gay. But life is messy. To the responders who equated lesbians with straight men: that’s much too simple. Lesbians are bot men without penises — they’re women.
As regards your friend, there is no simple answer here. The issues in your friendship will be resolved over time. Good luck!

By: Nova

Nova — Mon, 18 Aug 2008 10:46:37 +0000

Very well said.. I havent had the chance of facing this as of now… but yeah its going to be strange when it happens… dont know how ill deal with it…

By: Jessie

Jessie — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 06:01:18 +0000

guess so – but I only have male friends through work/music and emotionally / sexually my radar is completely off otherwise .

Since last mail we’ve come to a ‘forget and move-on’ agreement which had me bouncing off the walls with relief/delight for couple of days but I know once she’s left I’m going to feel completely deflated and gutted. I’ve got to stop wearing my heart on my sleave especially for ’straight’ women but then isn’t love about free expression….?
At the end of the day you don’t choose the person you’re going to connect with or fall for the chemistry/attraction just presents itself and I don’t think anyone can truly control the roller-coaster of emotions which follow. Love is a ridiculously, wonderful thing and I guess nothing has or willl ever change throughout the history of mankind…….

By: A Cynic in Wonderland

A Cynic in Wonderland — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 08:49:20 +0000

its conceptually the same as being friends with a bloke no? there are some you are attracted to and others are friends.