Maybe you aren’t a violent would-be sex offender.
Maybe you are a nice guy with a libido.
Maybe you actually do respect women.
Maybe you can see my brains and my spirit in addition to my body too.
Maybe you can be a real friend.
Maybe you’ll stand by me longer than a night or two.
But consider this,
I live in [...]

A conversation with a wise girlfriend you’re seeing after awhile can be food for thought. As you exchange titbits of information about news and the then and the now, there’s realization and growing up that happens in those very moments.
I mentioned a name, quite unconsciously with reference to something else. She picked it up and [...]

This is one of the most important lessons I’ve learnt about people and relationships and for it, I owe a big debt of gratitude to E Vestigio. She said,
Closure is your own problem. Nobody, whoever they are, wherever they are, no matter what they mean to you is obliged to give you closure. And it [...]

For the first time ever,
in my conscious memory,
none of my dreams
or things that I look forward to
in the future with anticipation
have anything to do with a man.
Isn’t that something? Even if it did take me three decades to get to it.
It was so worth it.

What lies behind protectiveness?
Would you beat up someone for me? If I got hurt, would you want revenge? And why?
Nothing you do or say can change what has happened.
There is a certain helplessness about not being able to change the past. I can feel it and I imagine you feel it too. Is it because [...]

So I’ve done the ‘date a younger guy’ thing too. Don’t I sound deliciously cold about it?
A once young nineteen-year-old me, on hearing about a friend’s new boyfriend exclaimed,
But he’s younger than you!
to which I got a succint, if somewhat stiff, “So?”
Well, I don’t know. I guess I was just one of those people who [...]

I heard something interesting in a recent Twitter conversation on dating:
adityab@ideasmithy I think men & women actively look for vulnerability in partners. After all, why would we need another person otherwise?
Really? I don’t mean that sarcastically, I mean really, really, REALLY? That isn’t true of me. Honest, it’s not.
I know I’ve always looked for only one [...]

It occurs to me that I’m in the final stages of recuperation. Or rather, I’m like someone who was ill for a very long time without knowing it, then hospitalised, recovered, had a relapse and is now watching the last of the scabs fall off, the scars fade away.
Melodramatic, isn’t it? That’s what the decade [...]

This occured to me the very first time I saw ‘The Namesake‘ but laziness and other such things kept me from blogging about it right then. I’ve just finished reading Jhumpa Lahiri’s book. As an aside, it’s a lovely story, the book even better than the already excellent movie.
You know what was the most striking [...]

You may want to feel needed,
But that’s no reason to make me feel needy.
It doesn’t say much about your masculinity,
if it feels threatened by my independence.
I’d rather be alone
than with someone who needs to change me
I’d rather be alone
than be someone other than myself.

Best Friend tells me that she’s personalized each of her key contacts with their own ringtone (She called it ‘callertune’ but I know that’s incorrect since my calls still go to the same ring-ring-ring-hello). My number, she says, has been set to
‘It’s raining men!‘
I riposte,
Rain, rain, everywhere and not a drop to drink!

I loved, loved, loved the series. I’ve quoted the episodes on this blog ad infinitum. Look, I even have a special SATC quote generator running in my sidebar!! And of course I went for the movie with my galpals decked out to the nines and full of trepedition. The movie wasn’t quite as great but [...]

The Non-relationship because…

I need time.
I’m afraid of committment (Honest but jackshit nevertheless)
I’m really busy building my career right now.
My family won’t approve of us.
We don’t know each other that well.

The Non-conversation because…

It’s too embarassing to talk about.
Why ruin a perfectly good mood?
There is never an answer.
If you start, I’ll leave!
Je ne comprehende pas…Parlez-vous Man-ese?
Oh, forget [...]

A thing for chocolate – hot, sizzling, dark, rich
A fetish for shoes – expensive, gorgeous and uncomfortable
A love of all things khatta: Neembu, Imli, Amla, Kamrak
Sex and the City
Long phone conversations with friends and texting only for mushy SMSes, naughty SMSes, sweet SMSes
Bacardi Breezers, Vodka-with-lime, Red wine, White wine, any wine
Inappropriate crushes (gardeners, colleagues, bosses) at [...]

Some pictures of shy, demure, wallflower moi surfaced online. Nope, not paparazzi style ones, just a couple of shots from a tweet-party I went to recently. Result: I got called ‘cute’ by a Twerson (khee khee, tell me I’m funny!). Nobody calls me cute. I’m stopped in my tracks (briefly) and then decide to share my [...]

A free quarter-hour. Looking for a photograph. Browsing.
A chance encounter. Oh. Breath stuck in throat. Hand moves mouse in hypnotic state to click.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……………………………….
Almost as in a frenzy, the photographs go racing one after the other. Click-Click-Click. You can peek over the cliff-face of your life to look down into your past but once you fall….gravity [...]

My new literary obsession is Chick Lit. Helen Fielding, Sophie Kinsella and Marian Keyes keep me in chocolate-box mood while Meera Syal and Advaita Kala add the desi tadka. Why, even fellow-blogger/’I-know-this-girl-friend-acquaintance’ Compulsive Confessor flashes her characteristic grin at me from my bedside bookstack.
I found this rather interesting piece on the internet, describing Chick Lit:
“Chick lit” is [...]

Why do they call it that when the last thing you really want to do is withdraw?

I need love, love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find, find
Someone to call mine
But mama said
You can’t hurry love
You just have to wait

- ‘You can’t hurry love’ Phil Collins
But mama also says (someone else’s mama, my mum and I don’t discuss such things)…a married friend’s mama says,
Don’t expect any kind of sense for [...]

I don’t think niceness is a virtue. In fact I think all of those paragons of this insufferable attitude should be locked away in a deep, dark dungeon till all their niceness is dried away from them. Only then should they be allowed to mingle among human beings.
There are no brownie points for being nice. [...]