Alcohol is like a man. In its many variations, delightful or otherwise, it mirrors the vagaries of my favorite vice. Here’s how.
Breezer – This is the boy you grew up with, the one who sat next to you in fourth grade and helped you with your homework. You don’t really stay friends (unless you are [...]

And now that we know them by the cities they live in, the professions they pursue, the interests they devote their time to and the languages they speak, what’s left? The women they love of course! Here’s a look at what you can tell about a man by his favorite Bollywood pin-up.

Sushmita Sen: Isn’t it [...]

This might seem to overlap with this chapter but it doesn’t really. That was about the place they live in, this is the colour that runs in their blood (it’s neither red nor blue!)
Gujjubhai : Now I’m going to run against the tide in this city when I rate this man top of my list [...]

* Ring Ring *
Hi! I just made a fantastic discovery! Call me Idea-Columbus!
What did you do now?
Remember the Bluffer’s Guide book? I just discovered that there is an entire series of them! In 2 minutes I will be the proud owner of the Bluffer’s Guide to Women, Relationships, Sex and Seduction!!!!
No kidding…I [...]

I already know this about the Indian man:

He’s a mama’s boy. He actually believes that it is a good thing. And he believes that this state also excuses him from being any sort of decent human being.
He is a male chauvinist. He may be subtle or he may be blatant but there’s no denying that [...]

So we are a city of metrosexual men? Hmm. I guess I should revise my preferences. Let it never be said that I’m not fair. So welcome, men, to the joys of beautification! That said, let me extend the olive branch to my insofar suffering male counterparts and attempt to smoothen the process for you. [...]

* With due apologies to Newton Sirjee who we all agree, was a very smart man, indeed.
First Law:
Every man continues in his current non-single relationship state (dating, just good friends, chasing, no-strings-attached, in love, married) unless acted upon by a force internal (dramatic negative behaviour by woman like nagging, extreme indifference etc) or external (subtle [...]

In some roundabout way, we manage to make sense. Umm well, we just like to gather in the facts first. Uh huh.
(Click to see full comic on a new page)

The Guide:
Men are touchy about glib references to phallic symbols (even if the car is bright red and called a Probe). They do not see cars as ‘penis substitutes’ for two reasons:

Few men can afford a Lexus or a Ferrari.
There is no substitute for a penis.

IdeaSmith:
Size is of definite consequence in the man’s mind. Of [...]

Meeing man who has been sternly warned not to exhibit any of the annoying behaviour that have so long been his joy and pride. We won’t go into the details of what entails ‘annoying’ here, it’s fairly wearing out. But said man has sheer genius talent in this and brings forth new annoying habits.
Blue squarish [...]

Yesterday I was called rude. And all I was doing was describing a revolutionary new idea I had. Hmph, no one ever accepts brilliant new ideas when they are first born. But whatever am I IdeaSmith for, if not to express new ideas, despite all opposition?
Transcripts from the conversation that resulted in my new name…..
~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~o~
So [...]

The Guide:
Men approach the state of the house rather like the Three Wise Monkeys:
See no evil, Feel no evil, Smell no evil.
IdeaSmith:
But you will notice, there’s no “Touch no evil“. Of course not, considering there’s a blanket assumption on all women being evil….and guess who is doing all the housework?

Oh brilliant, brilliant, brilliant! I’m getting the new fairy-tales I asked for! Lady obliges with a new fairy-tale for the modern woman. Even if it does begin with
Once upon a time…
and ends in
…happily ever after.
Let me suggest a title for this one – Narrow Escape.

The Guide:
The very idea of it makes men blush. There is only one thing worse: when men try to talk about it frankly and honestly. Then women blush.
IdeaSmith: Reminds me of a conversation with 2 male friends:

Man 1 (upon seeing grimace on my face caused by cramps): Bad time? Shall I get you some medicine? [...]

Tch, tch, people make good money from what I give out for free here on this blog. Credit where its due…a man does know how to get rich stating the obvious. So here’s the first as promised:
On brains (the ones that are supposed to be inside the head…umm..the one on top)
The Guide:
Men’s brains are bigger, [...]

Just finished reading a hilarious book. It’s called The bluffer’s guide to men. It isn’t so much what the book says as how it says it. Everyday, feminist/male-bashing XX Factor-type of commonsense is put into really funny revelations. I quote…oh but wait. I started to pick out my favorite lines and then realised I’d end [...]

Women…….
burnt their bras. donned leggings and in some cases the pants in the family.
picked up swords and knives and eventually guns. also ploughs. and pens. and hammers.
went to work. demanded a vote. ran for politics. were good leaders. and bad ones.
learnt maths and science and accounts. flew aircrafts. then rockets.
threw hand grenades. wrote poetry. and [...]

Heard:
Nothing, not even breathing.
Felt:
A very gentle touch.
Thought:
Just because he’s gentle with my body, doesn’t mean he’ll be gentle with my heart.
Did:
Pushed the thought out and rolled over for more.

We know where they live. We know what they do for a living. But what do they do that makes their life more than an existance?
I used to wonder at people who had no hobbies or interests at all….I mean, what is that all about???!!! Now I know a new breed of people. The kind [...]

Fatherhood seems to be the theme for this week, after my Electra-Oedipus discussion last week. After observing the behaviour of emperor penguins, I now discover that fish exhibit loving paternal behaviour as well. Today’s fact tells us that:
A father sea catfish keeps the eggs of his young in his mouth until they are ready to [...]