Comments on: Too Many Questions And Not Enough Trust

By: IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 17:20:36 +0000

@Ms Taggart: I liked her style. I guess rambling, descriptive narratives work well for me.

By: Ms Taggart

Ms Taggart — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 07:03:38 +0000

No.. I didnt like the book much, coz I realized I dont like Jhumpa Lahiri's style of writing, though I like her stories.
But the movie is beautiful!

By: IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:16:49 +0000

@ rambler: See my next post (I Say I'm Fine). It's a reply to your comment.

By: IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:12:56 +0000

@ sstauf: That's the (in)famous female intuition speaking! Okay, I admit that a lot of women just pass off plain insecurity and jealousy as intuition. Trust, wholly and completely is a definitely the foundation of a good relationship. But it just seems like it's getting harder and harder to trust and be trusted. We are a cynical lot.

By: IdeaSmith

IdeaSmith — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:03:27 +0000

@ Rambler: See my next post (I Say I'm Fine).

By: sstauf

sstauf — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 05:23:16 +0000

I find that women are just as mistrusting of men as men are of women. I hear girls all the time talking about how they are sure their boyfriend is cheating on them, but when asked why they think that all they can say is that it's a “feeling” they get. I feel that this is mostly influenced by prenups and the fact that the culture allows for premarital sex as a normality. I've even begun to notice a pretty worrying trend in modern marital vows where they don't actually promise anything significant. They talk on and on about how much love they have but never promise things like “I'll be with you forever” or “I'll be true to only you.” These vows are really reflective of the attitude that's going around, which is kind of the “I'll be with you as long as it suits me, or as long as I don't find something I think is better.” It's almost saying, “I'll marry you for now, but I don't want to have made a promise I might not keep, so I can have a way out… just in case.” I don't think this invokes trust for either party. What you leave out of something as important as a marital vow is sometimes more important than what you leave in. Also, when there is premarital sex with your partner, or others, there is a certain pressure that comes after—the pressure of being compared.
I don't think trust is such a hard thing to obtain, but you have to be worthy of that trust. You have to be completely honest in all aspects of your life. If you are dishonest in the small things, it is harder to be trusted with the bigger things like monogamy. You have to make yourself stop being an individual human being and realize that you are part of him and he is part of you. I don't think you can have a workable and solidly trusting relationship unless you understand that you can no longer work through things on your own.
Also I just have to say that trusting is a decision. You have to decide to trust him and he has to decide to trust you. If you don't, you'll begin with mistrust and end badly. No matter what has come before, I think anyone can make a relationship a good and trusting one, if they decide to trust without question.

By: rambler

rambler — Sat, 30 May 2009 22:04:18 +0000

you know its interesting at the brink of relationship, twenty somethings like me, really have this question. Men have always been known to not trust women, and women on the other hand trust men, but in this age, how does it really work out?, hows the new age indian women when it comes to trust her partner. In the age of prenuptial agreement, and pre marriage sexual health certifcation, it looks really important how much do we trust each other in terms of our emotional side, would we for example share a difficulty or a mental crisis we have been having without hesitation?. would you?